Ang buhay ni Belay. Isang dork.

Long time, no post. :)

2008-06-08T12:15:56Z

I've been updating my Multiply too much that I'm starting to neglect my Livejournal. :) Hahaha. Actually, I visit here all the time just to view some updates about One Tree Hill and Twilight (movie). I'm snagging some icons (with permission of course) and I find it very fun. :D Hahaha.

Maybe I'll post something sensible once in a while... siguro mas may drive lang akong mag-post ng 'something' sa Multips since maraming UPLB people akong contacts don. And a lot of my friends have Multiply accounts. Oh well. Might as well credit LJ naman. :) Oh, and once again, I updated my layout. Di na talaga ako natutong mag-change ng layie dito sa LJ. Sa tinagal-tagal! XD

I can't say much. Oh well. Ano nga bang updates about me. Hmmm.

I'm single.
I'm very happy.
I think I'm better off without 'someone'. :D
I'm in love with a vampire.
I'll be in my 2nd yr of college this coming academic year.
Still a Devcom student, major still undecided.

I think that's about it. :) I'm kinda bored kaya ko rin naisipang mag-post. Harhar. :D

Okay, walang kwenta. Next time I'll try to blog about something worth-reading. :)

I missed my LJ! :)

freakin' weird.

2007-10-28T03:51:12Z

i just edited, again, my layout here in LJ cos of supreme boredom. as in wala talaga akong magawa last night. and i decided to visit my LJ. my last layout was cool. but this one... cooler. hahaha. lots of colors. di naman masakit sa mata diba? :)

anyway, i've been updating my multiply all the time. since i entered up, mas naging active ang multiply account ko. :P a lot of uplb friends have multiply accounts and that resulted the abandonment of my blogspot and this blog. i have lots of blogs. XD hahaha. i even made a new blogspot account! boredom. boredom. boredom.

idk which blog will i update more often... but since, napaltan ko layout nito and mas cool sa paningin ko... why not? haha. pero most of my up friends don't know that i have a LJ blog existing. XD

1st sem is ovahh. feel ko na. hahaha. :)) shiit, i never thought sembreak could be this boriiing. miss ko na doing school stuff. :( di na ako sanay ng walang ginagawa. hahaha!

--- :)

Noooo...

2007-08-18T09:56:39Z

Super tinamaan na naman ako ng katamaran. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. Nooo..

Toxicated. x_X

---

Already watched A Love Story. :) I liked it. Naiyak ako. I got affected in almost all of the scenes. Sarap sakalin ni Ian(Aga's role). And two thumbs up for Angelica Panganiban. Infairness, naiyak ako sa pag-arte nya. XD

"Ang mga babae, parang bulaklak yan. Huwag mong pipitasin kung sisirain mo lang. Cos you'll never find another flower like her.."

Love it. XD

Just..

2007-05-18T11:23:18Z

Still on vacation. Still bumming around. Still pigging out. Still bored. Still thinking. Still confused. Still loving someone. Still hurting. Still getting jealous. Still not happy but definitely not crappy.

In short, walang nabago. Normal pa rin ang buhay ko ngayon. At naghihintay ako sa mga sorpresang pwedeng bumulaga sa mga nadating na araw. So far, wala pa naman. Pero sana meron. I love surprises. But the good ones. Ayoko nang lumuha pa. But I can't help it. Hobby ko na yon. =p And to think I'm not a crybaby before! HAHAHA. I only cry when I watch Jack Dawson die in Titanic. =p It's weird.

I'm losing weight now. I think. Grabe kasi lagi akong inaaway ni Mama na ang laki raw nang inilaki ko ngayong bakasyon. Thank God for PBB. Diba Geeann is having problems because she keeps on gaining weight? Kasi di sya dinalaw for I-don't-know-how-many-months eh nakakaapekto raw yon sa weight gaining. So that's it! Di ako nag-red alert buong month ng April. =p So there. Sobrang exercise na ako, wa epek. Kaya pala. =)) Nwei, dinalaw na ako ngayong May. YEY. So hormonal imbalance pala.

Okaaay, and buong vacation ako nanonood ng OneTreeHill. How addicted can I get? Sumakit ang mata ko kasi nag-upload ako ng new moodthemes which features Naley. =D I love them! I mean, Nathan says the sweetest things. =) Really. As for Lucas, Team Brooke ako eh. =p Hahaha. Pero I crush Peyton cos she loves music and she is a great artist which I am not. =p Nwei, di lang ako adik. Buong pamilya. YEY. =)) My brother's been watching the whole day. Tinigilan na nya ngayon kasi matatapos na sya sa Season 4. =)

Ok, yun lang. =)) Nagkwento lang ako..

I can't believe I'm feeling this bullshit again!

2007-04-21T14:57:51Z

Surprise surprise! This is not locked. I'm just hella pissed right now.

Gawd, why can't be people be sensitive about other people's feelings? It's like taking into consideration someone's feelings and now I'm beginning to think na sobrang hirap gawin nun. Mahirap ba yun ha? Yung isipin mo yung nararamdaman ng isang tao, lalo na kung kaibigan mo sa mga pinaggagagawa mo? LALO NA KUNG ALAM MONG NASASAKTAN SYA SA GINAGAWA MONG IYON? I gave chances people. And he/she blew it!

Now this is why I hate trusting people. Even friends! Gawd. I tell them everything I feel. Every single feeling. Alam nila kung anong ayaw ko, kung san ako nasasaktan but fuck, ano yon?! Nagalit na ako before and she's/he's doing it again! I'm so fed up with such insensitive bitches.

And akala ko magiging masaya na ako.. Mahirap na talagang maging masaya ngayon.

Oh, and can I just add that I'm stupid? For actually hoping again? For 1 week, everything's going well. Not until April 18. And now I figured it out, pinagbibigyan nya lang siguro ako kasi birthday ko. SARCASTIC I KNOW. But that's what he's making me feel. If I'm assuming so be it. But if he wants me back, kahit pa tapos na birthday ko dude. Kahit pa hindi kami magkabalikan, pwede pa rin namang maging sweet kahit di ko na birthday diba? He just left me hanging. :(

Tangina talaga. :(

YEA! :)

2007-01-22T12:13:37Z

Pasado ako sa UP!!! :)

Los Banos campus. :) Waaaa! Unexpected sobraaa!

Thank you Lord! :)

:)

2006-12-24T23:50:46Z

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :)

Labsyu all! ;* mwuaah!

bakit ba?

2006-11-16T21:40:48Z

ang hirap magmahal. ang hirap ding magsalita. ang hirap umiyak.

wtf is wrong with me?

wtf is wrong with you?

we'll make this work. WE.

kung ano man ito. kakayanin.

lazy bones. =p

2006-11-08T01:50:28Z

Nasa bahay pa ko ngayon. Kuhanan kasi ng card namin. Mamaya pa ko pupunta ng school para sa Honor's Society program. Bumaba rank ko but the heck,

Tumaas naman grade ko! HAHAHAHA! :)

Fine, konti lang tinaas kasi most of my grades are retained. As in 7 out of 10 retained! :O Shocker! But I'm so happy for myself. And no one's blaming anyone. :)

Aii, 3 months na kame kahapon pa. :) Ahlavet!

dorksibelay @ 2006-10-30T12:41:00

2006-10-30T12:43:06Z

First of all..

Happy birthday my prince! ♥

I love you sooo much! :) You will always be my prince. ;) Baduy na kung baduy!! Haha. Wafakelz. :) Sana lang naging happy ka today. :D I wish you all the best and sana lagi kang happy coz that's what I want for you. For the both of us na rin. ;) Hmmm.. Lahat naman na nasabi ko sa letter ko pero sasabihin ko pa rin na I'm always here for you. :D ALWAYS. Mwuaaaah!

---- ♥

Happy birthday Ate Kat chained_angel13!Thanks for all the help! Lovez yah! Mwuaaah..

----

I'm going to make kwento na lang tomorrow pag naalala ko lahat. Haha! Oh, lam ko na grades ko. :) Good luck sakin tomorrow! Boohoo.

Babay. ♥

dorksibelay @ 2006-10-26T14:04:00

2006-10-26T06:08:34Z

We're ok but I'm not. :(

I miss him badly.. You guys understand me diba? Dibaaa?

Oh well, I have to wait 24hrs or more to see him again. O kaya, sa birthday na lang nya kame ulit magkikita.. Sadness! :(

---
Alam na ni papa. :) And he's ok with it. I love you papa!!

I'm in galle right now. Waiting for 2:50 kasi we're going to watch TXT. :) Haha! Love you all! :*

thanks celestial_trash for the help!! mwuaah..

:(

2006-10-24T23:32:52Z

I effin' screwed up pur last day together! :(

AHJSONDKLSSKSLFGDF

How can I make it up to you now? How can I be so stupid? Argh. :(

---
I dunno why but I can't seem to see my entries on my friends' pages.

Sick.

2006-10-23T13:21:28Z

Unang araw ng sembreak, eh nagkasakit ako. :( Siguro dahil sa kahapon..

Galing ako ng UST. Nagexam na ko. Buti naman at nakaraos na rin! Haay. Magdiwang! :D Nwei, dun sa room kung saan ako nagexam, ay super malamig. Hmmm.. Basta malamig dun. :) Sa lahat nga ng universities na pinagexaman ko, dun ang favorite ko kasi malaki yung desk. Pwedeng magpatong ng madameng things. Haha! Sa Benavides bldg kasi ako. Parang sa grade school ata yun or high school? Ang baet pati nung katabi ko. :) Hehe!

Paglabas ng room, nagmeet kame nila Judy, JP and Aljean sa may fountain. Grabe, ang ganda ng UST. :) Product ako ng 2 Thomasians kaya siguro ang gaan ng pakiramdam ko pagpasok ko pa lang dun. :D Dun nagkakilala ang parents ko kaya masaya! Hehe. Nwei, paglabas ko sobra namang sumikat ng husto si King Sun. Ayun! Sumakit na ang ulo ko. Eh sinisipon na ko nun. Boo!

Pag-uwi ko pa sa bahay nakita ko si Mama, nakahiga. May sakit din. Hanggang ngayon may trangkaso sya. Ako, mejo pagaling na. :) Hehe. :P GET WELL SOON MAMA! Dameng nag-aalaga sakin eh! At isa ito sa kanila..

♥

Magbibirthday na rin kasi kaya nagpost na ko ng pic. ;) Hehe! Pinapakita ko lang sa world. lol.

Good luck sa cast ng Mirinisa! :)
go lang ng go!

Haay, nagpapakapraning na naman ako sa mga bagay-bagay. BELIEVE lang. :)

Twilight♥

2006-10-15T11:06:36Z

I bought it na! Oh yes! :D

HALE's Sophomore album, TWILIGHT. :) Pucha, hit ito sure ako! I love the songs. I love love love! :) ♥♥♥

Yun lang. :)

good luck.

2006-10-11T09:10:20Z

got my UST exam permit na and thank God na oct. 22 ako napasched. yoko na sa november. tamadness na eh! hahaha. :P

tas DLSU test ko sa sunday. and then sa monday and tuesday, periodical/depart exams. and then sa 22 nga eh UST naman.

good luck sakin. at sa brain cells ko. ♥

3G : God's Greatest Glory

2006-09-24T11:16:42Z

God is my DJ. ♥

To everyone who came, maraming salamat. In behalf of YFC East1 - Cluster 3 Laguna. Ayus! Lakas ng kabataan. ;) Esp to Kuya Marlon na guest speaker pa from West1. Nice meeting you Kuya! :D Balik ka ulit sa Sta. Cruz ha! :D Sa ating service team, we survived. Yahu!

Believe. ♥

greetings.

2006-09-22T10:42:38Z

Ang dameng babatiin. Pero ang saya! Yeyeye. :] Galileo-ans forevermore! Yahu!

Hafie birthday Arnedo dela Cruz Jr.!

Congratulations Marie Betel de Robles and Charley May Dorado! [ publisher chorva competition ]
Congratulations Maria Ferdina "Tweety" Panisan! [ STEP queen ]
Congratulations Francis Angela Patiag, Jeffrey Susmerano, Ivan Terence Cagandahan, Juan Mikhael Aguilar and Arthenian Austria♥! special to : Ruthjoy Opelinia! [ Mirinisa / pahabol ]

All in one week. ;] Hahaha! Supreme!!

Anubahh, kahit na kapagod, kastress and kaloka ang everyday eh I still have you guys to make me happy. I love it! :] ♥

goodnight.

2006-09-21T12:13:25Z

2 LJ entries na ang di nakalock nang sinimulan ko ang sign above. lol.

Just want to greet..

Hafie birthday to Carla Marie Bozon and Ryzee Raychelle Buban!

Sweet 16. ;] Nakss! Do you love it?! Haha. Thanks sa lunch. Superb.

Going to review and study pa. And magreresearch pa ko about sa report namin sa Sex Education for Health. Guess what kung anong topic sakin? Haha. Ewan. :P

Goodluck kay Tweety. STEP Queen na ito cousin!

May pang goodnight ka pa pare huh. I love you. ♥ Sira! HAHAHA.

yeyeye.

2006-09-20T11:02:20Z

After all the hard work and sacrifices..

1st place kame! :] Woohoo!

Anubahh, I wasn't expecting anything! Pero syempre we hoped din na sana manalo. Oh well.. I doesn't hurt to be optimistic after all. ;] The Mirinisa play was great talaga kanina! Coretein girls na naman kame ni Aljean. Thank God di naman nagkamali ang cast. Ang ganda ng ending! Very romantic for me. Good thing Jeff did that. Mas kilig.

Especially the last one. :] The audience said "awww" yey! I did everything to make the last scene more kilig. Syempre kasama si direk Ruth. Congrats to us IV-Galileo! Yeyeye.

Bogs♥, so proud of you. Supporting actor huh. Mwuah. And to the whole cast! Jeff, Angela, Ivan and Kiks. Galing. And Galileo-ans! Yeyeye. We made it! :]

Nervous na naman for tomorrow. Sheesh. And not feeling well. Argh.

Start.

2006-09-17T01:09:49Z

Em vaaak. :] Did you miss me? Haha. lol.

Di na ko sanay magblog, and yet binista ko ulit yung Xanga ko and updated it. I changed the layout pa and everything! Haha. Mejo I'm getting bored na with my blogspot. Haay. :[ Oh well, may connection na ulit dito sa house and nasa room ko na yung DSL. Thanks Mama! :*

Iniisip ko kung ilalock ko ba itong LJ ko or not. Para naman may isa akong blog na may privacy. :P Haha! Oh well.. Bahala na. Yung ibang entries na lang ang locked. Especially pag.. :*)

Namiss ko kayong lahat!! :)

Nahihirapan na ko sa studies ko. ~~Pressured~~. :[ Sana kayanin ko pa.. Pero parang taob na ko. Huhu. Dame ko kasing ginagawa. Super busy. Ngayong weekend lang na ito ako napirmi sa bahay. Well, except yesterday morning. I went to San Pablo and took the ACET. Waa..

I am 15 years and 5 months old today! :] Haha!

Chatted with TJ yesterday and I made her cry. ;[ I missed her soo much.. GO BACK NA!! :]

Gawa na kong homework..

UPCAT..

2006-07-29T03:50:51Z

Aug 5, 2006

UPCAT ko na!! Waaa..

Miss you all LJ friends. :( Busy busyhan ako, hirap maging 4thyr. Pero ayus na rin.. Haha.

xoxo

omg :(

2006-05-04T03:59:17Z

papa called me up kanina to tell me na we're going to bora on the 10th and uwi kame ng 12. luluwas kame papuntang manila sa monday. it's ok with me kaso..

one of my best-est friends, TJ, will be leaving for the states on the 10th. argh. dun na sya magsastudy. :( paano ako makakapaggoodbye sa kanya? nasa-sad talaga ako. i don't want her to leave.

:( sana magkita kame sa sunday. magkita man lang kame before sya makaalis.

shurrr.

2006-05-02T12:54:35Z

the greatest thing that happened today is that i saw my classmates again. :) nareschedule yung review namin sa school so matagal pa kame ulit di magkikita. as usual pumunta kame ng mcdo at kumaen. namiss ko sila sobra. :) matagal din kameng hindi nagkita.. and then nagpunta kame sa kapalaran, dating paradahan ng bus para mag-jam. mariposa! hehe. dame naming audience kaya mejo nashy akong kumanta. :P tas pumunta dito sa house sila tweety, nix, sheila and angela. naginternet lang sila kasabay ay nanood din kame ng wedding crashers and close to you.

maganda yung sinabi ni nova villa dun. na maganda daw pag friend mo yung nakatuluyan mo..

" pag nawala ang romance at kilig, at least friendship ang matitira sa inyo.. "

di yan yung sakto pero ganun na rin. :P hehe! nakakaawa si sam sa dulo pero choice ni bea yun eh. ang inaabangan ko lang naman na lumabas dun ay si chris cayzer. hahaha. :)

nung sunday, nalaman ko na nabura lahat ng songs sa iPod ko. gusto ko nang maiyak kasi argh. nainis talaga ako at nalungkot. :( kaya ngayon import to the max na naman ako. 77 pa lang ulit wala pa yung mymp album. ang maganda naman ay naimport ko na ang tollgate at the day you said goodnight acousitc! yey.

naghalungkat din ako ng ilang cds dito sa bahay. at nakahanap ako ng f4. :) hahaha! inimport ko yung can't lose you, meteor rain, you don't love me, show me your love, i truly love you, meteor garden theme at yung ni yao de ai. :) jusko nakakanta ko pa rin sila! hahaha. ewan ko ba kasi dati namemorize ko talaga yung mga yun. yung you don't love me ni vaness wu, sinasayaw ko pa before. addict ako sa meteor garden eh! confused pa ko between lei and dao ming shi. :) hahaha! ahlavet. :*

wala na kong masabi..

dorksibelay @ 2006-04-29T23:00:00

2006-04-29T15:02:23Z

I think hindi nalabas yung locked entry ko sa friends page nyo dear LJ friends. Ang haba pa naman nun! Hahaha. Lol. La lang, just want you to read it. Yes, YOU. :P Demanding ko ba? Haba kasi nun eh. Sobrang long. It's a story actually. Without an ending. Yeyeye. Sucker no? Rawr.

dolls // i love you story

2006-04-28T16:04:15Z

Naalala ko lang before gusto pang makabasa ni Ate Nins nina_ketosis ng mga love stories, na sad. Finally nakahanap ako ng isa! First ko itong nabasa sa Friendster. I dunno if you guys read it na somewhere basta this one really made me cry. :( I saved pa dun sa dating pc ko, nabura na rin eh. I gave it the title Dolls since dolls are involved in the story. Ngayon alam ko na talaga title nya from the author itself.

Read it. Aii demanding. Hahaha

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of
lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.
“I can’t”
“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.
“No… I am going to meet a friend…”

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…

Then one day…

Me: Um, Jin, I …
Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..
Me: I love you.
Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…

Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

Me: Jin…
Jin: Here…take this…
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What’s this?
Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin: Today? Huh?
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted… “Wait…”
Jin: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…
Jin: What?!
Me: Tell me
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”
That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…

After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday

After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…
Me: I don’t need it. Jin: What….why…
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…
Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…

Honk~ Honk~
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted… But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
“Jin, move!” HONK~!! “Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.
That’s how he went away from me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.

Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…

“One…two… three…” That was how… I started to count the dolls…
“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…” It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…

“I love you~, I love you~” I dropped the dolls,shocked.

“I….lo..ve…you??” I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.

“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much…

“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…

For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life

Haay. Anubaahhhh..